We’ve been at this ABM thing for a while now, and we still often get the question: “What does ABM stand for?”. No shade, it’s a valid question for marketers who are constantly being inundated with new TLAs (three-letter acronyms, naturally). Obviously, we’re not above a good TLA (GTM, anybody?), but one thing we love more than our beloved TLAs is making fun of ourselves. So, we decided to bask in the ridiculousness of the B2B code that we speak in, and I was tasked with asking some “outside sources” for their best guesses at what ABM stands for. Their answers (plus some extra unsolicited marketing advice) are below.
Oh, and did we mention our “outside sources” are sitcom stars from the past couple of decades? Let’s get to it.
Kimmy Gibbler Wants You to Be Yourself
What ever happened to predictability? Well, actually–Kimmy Gibbler thinks you should ditch the predictability. I think we could all learn a thing or two from Kimmy Gibbler–barge in, be unpredictable, and be unabashedly yourself. But I’d venture to say this advice could be applied to marketing too. B2B is a lot of the same nowadays. We’re ingrained in a lot of weird, antiquated B2B tactics simply because “it’s always been done like this!”. But guess what? (Full House, moral-of-the-story music swells). It’s OK to be a little scared of change. But that doesn’t mean we should avoid it. Kimmy may be our annoying neighbor, but I actually think we as marketers should try to channel her a bit more often–break the mold, be human, and try new things without fear. (Fade out. Live studio audience applauds. Credits roll.)
Kimmy Gibbler says ABM stands for: “A Business Major? Apple Bee’s Milkshakes? I don’t know, I was an English major”.
Gerry/Larry/Jerry/Terry Is Getting Help From Tom and Gayle
OK listen, we know Larry is the worst. He’s so boring and so annoying. But he really wanted to be involved so we had to throw him a bone, because we’re good people. And–we hate to admit this–but he did actually have some good advice. You cannot exist as a marketer of one–even if you are a marketer of one. Community, asking for advice, and trusting others with second opinions is critical when you’re a marketer. And this extends way past your trusted marketing community. You should be reaching out to your pals in sales, customer success, product, and beyond to get their take on projects and campaigns. Marketing cannot function in a silo. Just like Jerry cannot function in normal society. Chris Traeger cannot function without exercise. Ron Swanson cannot function within the confines of the government. Leslie Knope cannot function without binders. And Lil’ Sebastian cannot function…actually, no. Lil’ Sebastian can function in all situations because he’s a perfect angel who was too good for this Earth. May he fly in horsey heaven.
Gerry/Larry/Jerry/Terry says ABM stands for: Amazing Bowel Movement. GOD, JERRY THAT’S SO GROSS WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT.
Meredith Says…Actually, We Don’t Really Know What She Said
*Furiously scribbles notes while watching Meredith from The Office give marketing advice …bats…shave head…drink…stay classy…
This one is…wild. But what else would we expect from the wildcard of The Office, Meredith? OK, but there is something we can learn from Meredith: the importance of being resilient. She got hit by a car. Bitten by a bat. Survived rabies. And did she ever give up? No. Did any of these insane injuries and illnesses change who she was? No. While our circumstances as marketers aren’t quite as dire, we can definitely relate to unexpected setbacks. Budget cuts. A campaign not going as well as we thought it would. Last-minute push-back on a piece of content that was about to launch. We can choose to handle these setbacks like Meredith, and come back stronger and ready to work just as hard as before those challenges set in. (But hopefully we’re a little better dressed.)
Meredith says ABM stands for: “Aye Boom Man, wanna boom me?”
I’m not going to lie, when we pitched this idea for the blog, I was thinking it would be a total fluff piece. We’d get some street cred for finding celebrities to define ABM in a funny way, give everyone a little laugh, then we’d all be on our merry way. But as I was watching Kimmy Gibbler from Full House talk about the advice she’d give to marketers, I was like “Oh sh!t…this is actually really good advice.” So I hope you do genuinely listen to these sitcom stars’ advice–and maybe spring for a Cameo the next time you need a marketing pep talk.
And, if you came to this blog post actually hoping to learn what ABM is and how to do it the right way, we’ve got you covered.